augury doggerel

Sunday, March 26, 2006

One with everything

At the grocery, in the section for babies and sick people and other folk on odd diets, I find the tofu dogs. They are orange and float in a glass jar, plump radiant wienies floating under glass like Donovan's Intestines.

At the checkout, my cashier turns and shows her friends the jar. They snort, then look at me, look down just slightly sheepishly, then turn and snort again. I say, "Hey, don't laugh!" but I laugh, so they cackle, then my cashier snorts, then reverse snorts to try to stop the snorting. The other two disappear.

At home, my tofu dogs are mushy but not bad with mustard. I eat two and think how at least I wouldn't be afraid to watch them made. Not for the same reasons, anyway.


At 4:38 pm, Blogger Auntie Sarah said...

Were they snorting because the idea of vegetarian hot dogs is sort of silly, or because of the phallic nature of hot dogs particularly floating in brine?

Over here they are hermetically sealed in plastic packages just like regular dogs, but they taste better. I never liked the taste of regular hotdogs anyway.

At 10:08 am, Blogger Okir said...

So that's what it's called: the reverse snort. Thanks...

At 2:20 pm, Blogger Fiona Robyn said...

hee hee ;)


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