augury doggerel

Sunday, February 24, 2002

Checklist Zero

If I were captured in an old spy movie, I would not pass the "Who won the World Series?" test.

I may be forced (I heard whispering in another language) to go to a movie soon. If this happens, it will be my first time inside a cinema since about this time last year [check]. I haven't seen any of the television shows, either [check]. I haven't read any of the books [check] or heard any of the songs [check]. I haven't seen any Olympics events [check]. I cannot work a telephone if it isn't the sort you take off a hook and dial.

This is how I stay in deep cover.

Now listen carefully. No, don't look this way. Listen. I will say this only once. The ducks were hungry this morning. Now the ducks have been fed. The swan was not hungry today. Perhaps tomorrow.


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