augury doggerel

Friday, January 25, 2002

In the News

Newspapers have leaders or editorials or whatever they call them where you live, but not poetry. Every newspaper should have a poetry page. A place for dodgy doggerel. Like this:
The little bugs are eating up your bum
And farting farts you'll fart and fart once more
A million swollen lives to kingdom come
That prize your bung hole open like a door.

Religious folk must hate the witches
Slinging miracles about,
Books approved by ancient bitches
Introduce a painful doubt.

To go to sleep,
Atune your mind to this:
The whisper of a star
In the abyss.

The obituaries are especially fun to write (if not, perhaps, to read):
Professor Hanbury Brown
Taught us to listen to stars,
Avoided the girls and the bars;
Give him a sensible crown.

Kenneth Armitage
Scraped a stone
Into living;
Now he's bone.

Robert Nozick snacked on money,
Died of stomach cancer;
At his funeral, there should be
A monkey and a dancer.


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